The Leek Articles - Satire
The Leek Articles - Satire
Littleton's First Coronation
Littleton's First Coronation
M. Leek
M. Leek
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Littleton High School’s first coronation takes place in Room 205 at the beginning of the 2019-2020 school year
In a small suburban town like Littleton, MA, one would expect the greatest governmental milestones to include achievements such as the outlawing of Blizzard Bags or deciding which mom will run the next PTA meeting. But towards the beginning of the school year, the coronation of a certain math teacher in Room 205 changed the lives of the students forever.
It started out as a joke among classmates, but soon some guy off the internet claiming to be a descendant of George V was bestowing a highly bejeweled crown to Mr. Cedoste. The whole event was quite the spectacle. Mr. Cedoste (now referred to as “Your Majesty” Cedoste) has refused to personally comment on the matter as he is currently dealing with renovations being made to his newly acquired palace (a cozy bungalow with a wooden “Live, Laugh, Love” sign on a wall in the kitchen, probably located somewhere on the Westford-Littleton border because that, my friends, is the highest of class), but his advisor agreed to give us a statement.
“I have no idea where this came from,”
“I have no idea where this came from,”
“I have no idea where this came from,” Sir Antonio said, scratching his head. “One minute, this guy is just your average substitute teacher at Littleton High School, and the next, his classroom is adorned with portraits he has commissioned himself!”
To see these amazing portraits, we recommend taking a quick sojourn to Room 205 the next time you’re in the building. The artwork is really quite astounding.
As to how the coronation has affected the rest of the staff at LHS, well, that’s another story (the tension in the teacher’s lounge could probably write a whole other article by itself).
Your Majesty Cedoste is known by many titles including Professor Cedoste and Doctor Cedoste (this man is like a real life Barbie--he’s had every profession) but “Your Majesty” remains, at the moment, his favorite. As this is the first coronation not only in Littleton High School but in the whole of Littleton, Your Majesty Cedoste has decided to be a bit lax about it for the time being. Unlike with many other figures of royalty, one is not required to bow upon entering Your Majesty Cedoste’s classroom (although one may certainly do so).
This entire ordeal has gone to show that Littleton High School may not just be like your average public school after all. New things are happening every day - stay tuned for more and get ready to be royally surprised!
-- XOXO M. Leek
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real people or events makes sense because this happened.
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