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Mary's Menu

By Mary Crowley

Disclaimer: I want to preface this by saying how much I, along with the rest of Littleton Public Schools, immensely appreciate the work our lunch staff do. They are responsible for feeding hundreds of children nutritious, full meals every day and do always do so cheerfully. This column is not intended to berate them for their work but instead commentate on the products they are given by our government and are forced to make appetizing. We must also understand we are getting meals for free this year so they are not expected to be the best quality in the world.

Wednesday January 5th - Shepard’s Pie

This meal was absolutely not the worst thing in the world, just advertised fraudulently. When one hears the words `shephard's pie’, one usually thinks of some beef and vegetables encased in a pie crust or pastry of some sort. That couldn’t be further from the meal that ended up on our plates, which consisted of a mixture of ground beef and corn covered in a layer of mashed potatoes. Would it be asking too much of a school to serve us actual savory pies? Yes, yes it would. However, the wave of disappointment I experienced when seeing the potato slab on my tray remains. The “pie” itself wasn’t really memorable, just meh. I may be biased since I don’t eat beef nor do I like mashed potatoes, but it all was way too bland and far too moist for my liking.

Thursday January 20th - Waffle Egg and Cheese Sandwich

The dreaded cousin of the Pancake Sandwich graced our lunch trays on this unholy Thursday. Surprisingly though, the waffle sandwich was significantly less problematic than its predecessor. The waffle blended much better with the egg and “cheese” than the pancake does, and adding the bacon into it improved it more. Was it delicious? No, the cheese still looked and felt like mayo. But, it was an improvement, and I (unpopularly) enjoy the sweet potato fries, so overall okay. I’m also awarding bonus points for the funny face on the waffle.

Tuesday January 25th - Pulled BBQ Pork Nachos

I was so hyped for this meal and unfortunately, I was disappointed. The pulled pork sandwiches we have enjoyed in the past were not that bad, so I had relatively high hopes. However, the lump of meat, sprinkling of chips, and cheese sludge I received did not live up to my expectations. The pork itself was not bad, but there was just so much of it that I had a pile remaining even after I loaded every chip with it. I did finish all of it, but felt sick to my stomach afterward due to the sheer amount I ate. The cheese was a completely different monster. It had the consistency of Jell-O and behaved much like a Dairy Queen blizzard, not moving an inch even when held upside down. I didn’t bother tasting it, the viscosity let me know I didn’t need to.

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